To quote my favorite play Hamilton, “The World Turned Upside Down”.   I haven’t Mae any entries into the blog or a while.  The last few trips were woefully short and compressed, with growing children and their unique needs using up most of my free time on those expeditions.

In the interim, I have made a continued effort to Live.  Previously n my writings I have described the emotional drain that my work demands.  To truly make a difference, to care, to impart the positive energy that it takes to change the course of what is often some peoples worst moment comes at a cost.  I must give a piece of myself every time.  To somehow balance these energies has become a struggle and an art.  It is another job truly.  Maintaining presence with home and family requires  a balance.  I attempt to recharge and reset and clear my head. When home, I will often saddle up my horse and go trail riding for hours.  Thinking and reading and attempting to make sense of the world.  It helps. I have also developed a new habit to maintain this clarity.  A friend of mine and fellow doc, taught me to fly fish.  It was a fantastic gift.  This art seems to temper all of the stresses, when they begin to show weight.  There is something about the healing mountains and rhythmic water coupled with the task of finding fish. I can often do this for hours, heavy thoughts in time replaced by hours of thinking absolutely nothing.  The Art has a way of fixing those sort of ailments.

Mountain streams can be had within a short drive or flight from Texas, relatively speaking.   Taos New Mexico offers world class mountain and high desert fishing with fairly easily accessible streams to disappear in.   

I can still remember when everything changed.  I had quit my job for good reasons.  The corporation that moved into my old job aimed to bleed us dry.  Corporate ledges are cold and dark and factual.  No room for art or energy.  I came to a point in my life where I had to choose to participate in that sort of thing.  I chose not to.  It was in this way, that I came to leave that job and take several weeks off to mentally prepare for the next.   

Wuhan China they said.  I can still remember talking to my brother in law about a weird illness that seemed to be killing Chinese people in this place.  We shared online videos about the extreme ee measures the Chinese government was taking to stop its spread.  Something seemed off.  We watched it spread slowly across Europe,  laying waste to Italy and Spain.  We wondered why our government did not seem to be taking it seriously as we watched videos of Italians struggling for life in the hallways of their overrun hospitals.  I began to get nervous.  It would come here.  A Pandemic they called it.  It was spreading in ways that no one fully understood.  It often killed healthcare workers with brutal randomness.

We watched as the government did nothing to prepare.  The first cases.  Seattle, then New York.  Then everywhere.  Nothing we had in our vast array of healthcare treatments had any effect.  Then it was here as we knew it would be.  Our savings in shambles, due to the financial panic, I had no choice but to return to work.  The first few days, the cases were truly frightening.  The thing kills you slowly, enough so that you know what is coming.  I remember the look of fear in the eyes of the sick ones.  The warm return from my face no longer visible behind a mask and goggles.   

Would this take me?  I had not figured on something like this. A strange sense of constant dread began to envelop me at all times.  I could not shake it.  It seemed reasonable though, fear of something that was picking off healthcare workers around the globe.  There was no end in sight.  My was poor and I began to develop a sense of apathy and dread. The country had been shut down and left a pre existing trip and conference empty.  It was in this way that I came to Taos again, packing up my small speedy car and making the drive straight.  I hope to regain some clarity and purpose in those mountain streams.  

The drive was long but enjoyable, but I am tired.  A nice whisky from the store and a catfish supper with a room view of the mountains was a fitting end to a long day.  Tomorrow, the Red River awaits.

Day 10

We got up early again, and again put the kids in the vehicle sleeping.  We made the 10 minute drive to the nearest Discount Tire.  The manager there helped us, and he was extremely helpful.  We were back on the road in 20 minutes with a new fresh spare.  While they changed the tired, Amy and I got the kids teeth brushed and changed.  You know, efficient time management and all of  that.

We headed Southeast on that long stretch of highway through North Texas.  There was nothing much to see.  We listened to various podcasts, many of them interesting.  Somewhere along that stretch, probably an hour outside Fort Worth, we came upon multiple cattle next to the highway.  They had clearly escaped from someones place.  I pulled over and had Amy dial 911.  We reported these loose cattle, as a collision with such a beast could prove fatal for a weary traveler.  The dispatcher promised to send a deputy and we moved on.

Our progress was hindered in the usual Fort Worth traffic, but we made it through and stopped at Chick Fil A in Burleson, TX.  Here we met up with Shari so that we could drop Luke off.  Luke was initially crying that he didn't want to go home and wanted to continue camping, but that ended as soon as he hugged his Mom.  We ate lunch and let the children play a bit.  We all said our goodbyes and headed South.

Familiar territory appeared as we made the final couple of hours drive.  It was hot and dry.  There was some trafic about an hour North of home, but mostly smooth sailing.  Amy finished the drive.  As we pulled into the house, Amy stated that the Endeavor smelled like "engine".  I took the helm to back the ship into the storage spot and looked down to see the temperature gauge approaching red.  The Endeavor was failing, but she ,made it home.  Yes, she made it home.  The wear and tear had caught up to her, but she had done it.  It is likely her last trip.  I will have to thin of some sort of fitting end.  There are many memories in that ship.

Day 9

The drive out of the mountains always seems to take a while.  Amy and I got up early and packed and stowed everything, hitching the trailer up before the children even woke up.  We carried them to the vehicle while they were still sleeping.   We slowly crawled out of the campground and onto the highway.

The morning air was cool, and the weather perfect.  I looked in my rear view mirror at the towering mountains that grew smaller with our descent from altitude.  There was that sinking feeling, foreign, yet familiar as the realization of our return to our Lives was here.

The free RV dump provided by the city of Durango was closed for renovations.  We stopped at a local commercial campground and paid the 10 dollars to dump 4 days of waste water.  The Endeavor needed to ride herself of as much weight as she could for a long day of driving at altitude.  I handled the sewage while Amy got the kids teeth brushed and their clothes changed.  From there, we headed down into town and stopped at the local independent grocer and got some hot breakfast burritos.  They were just as delicious as I remember.

Bellies full, we headed across the high desert and down towards Albuquerque.  The mountains gave way to high desert, and we took it easy, trying not to stress the motor. The children completed more Mad Libs, and even convinced the adults to join in.  Howls of laughter ensued from the typical nonsense that are Mad Libs.

We made it to Albuquerque, and beat the traffic.  We made our turn East and headed across the high hot desert toward Amarillo.  I took a break for a while, turning the helm over to Amy.  We put on some storytelling podcasts and settled into the drive.  Suddenly, the Endeavor began to shudder violently.  There had been some rough pavement and at first we believed that to be the cause.  The shuddering worsened and I looked over to see Amy's knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel.  I asked her to pull over and confirm what I thought to be the case.  

Indeed, we had a blowout.  The right rear tire was nothing but shreds.  The asphalt was scorching as the weather was over 100 degrees.  I commenced the hot dirty job of changing a tire on the side of the interstate.  Cars whizzed by at 80+ mph ans I quickly changed the destroyed rubber.  We were back on our way in about 25 minutes.  We kept the speed low the rest of the way as another flat would render us crippled with no other spare.

We made it to Amarillo at around 8pm.  There are Discount Tire shops here, so the flat will be replaced under warranty.  We made it to the Amarillo KOA campground with enough time for the kids to swim.  While amy took them swimming, I made a dinner of corned beef and rice.  Full hookups at this place mean nice long showers and A/C.

Tomorrow begins the final leg home.

Day 8

We had to get up and move the trailer to a different site.  We had to piece together our camping reservation as the holidays had the campground at capacity.  We found our new spot and quickly packed up the trailer and moved it down .  We had a whitewater rafting trip planned and we had time to burn.  We headed down for one last round of fishing.  Harris caught one fish before we called it quits.
We headed into town to the outfitter.  We lined up with a group of people waiting to meet our guides.  They arrived in a old school busses that were painted white and towing trailers stacked high with rafts.  The guides seemed to be a rag tag band of college aged kids, many of them long haired and dirty in thee way that young hippie types are.  They told many corny jokes, but these seemed to entertain the younger patrons greatly.  We entered the river on the North side of town.  The float was relaxed and had just enough rapids at parts to keep the children entertained.  They were all smiles.  The older ones took turns setting on the front of the raft and jumping into the water.  At the end Nate was crying because he didn't want the trip to end.
We left from there and visited with my old buddy from residency.  It is always good to see them.  They also had several friends over and we enjoyed chatting and eating a good meal.  The kids had a blast as there were a whole herd of children running and playing. As usual, as the evening wore on and the children tired, the bickering increased.  We headed back to the campsite, our bellies full.  Tomorrow begins the long journey home.

Day 7

July 4th.  The annual ape of American summer. We were supposed to get up and go on a hike North of town, but the kids begged us to go fishing. We decided to Tyra our luck since we only had four caught fish in the freezer, and to cook fish for all but one child would surely end in a disaster. We headed down to the lake and wet the lines.  Within an hour, we had caught three more fish.  The children were excited and made plans to eat them for dinner.
We headed into town for the July 4th festivities.  We decided to walk through downtown and find lunch.  We stopped to eat at a cafe downtown.  It was busy and the service was absolutely terrible.  Amazing how a poor service experience can absolutely ruin a meal.
From there we left and headed to an outdoor festival in downtown Durango.  The music was nice and the children quickly joined forces with other kids and ran around the park playing games and tag in the way that kids do.
Shortly after, we met up with the cousins and got ice cream at a local spot.  The parade would pass right by the shop.  All of the kids lined up on the curb for prime viewing.  It was your run of the mill parade with fire trucks and local floats. The kids enjoyed it and had fun catching the candy.  We said goodbye to the cousins and headed back to the campsite.
Before we left, I had soaked the fish with lime and salt.  We rinsed them and then I laid out a piece of foil for each child.  I threw a dab of coconut oil on each piece and then laid a fish down on each. I brought out spices and had the children season the fish.  By this time, the campfire was nice and warm.  We laid the foil wrapped fish over the grate with hot coals underneath. They cooked to perfection while we prepared the rest of the meal.  The fish were bony, but tasted delicious.  The kids had smiles on their faces, deriving satisfaction from eating their catch.  We then made s'mores and slept well, bellies full and exhausted from the days activities.

Day 6

Grant and I got up early and attempted to fish the lake.  We were skunked.  Watching others fish gave us ideas on some different approaches for next time.  We came back to the trailer to find a breakfast of French toast and coffee.  We ate until our bellies were full and then packed hiking supplies.
The hike was North of town.  It was a several mile round trip hike to the base of "Engineer Mountain".  One of the highest peaks North of Durango.  The trailhead was just off the highway, and judging by the parking lot, it was popular. The hike started out in an alpine meadow and followed multiple steep ascending switchbacks into the mountains.  The scenery was beautiful.  The alpine wildflowers were in bloom and the weather was perfect.  The children did remarkable well. I only had to carry the littles for a short while off and on.  The hike terminated at a beautiful alpine lake where we stopped to eat lunch.  The peacefulness of this time only marred by a random text from my company asking me to work more.  I declined.  The kids, rejuvenated by peanut butter and jelly marched down to complete the hike. They were pleased by the remnants of the snow pack and snowball fights abounded.
We left the trailhead and headed to Purgatory resort to allow the kids to ride the alpine slide.  The resort turns one of the slope into an mountainside slide in the summer months.  We rode it last year and the kids begged to do it again.  July 3rd was of course busy and we had to wait approx 45 minuted to ride.  It was fairly hot for the mountains at 90 degrees.  The slide was fun.  The children ended up discussing who won what race and all of the usual pre teen braggadocio.
We left the resort and headed into Durango.  We were almost out of clean clothes and laundry needed done.  I dropped Amy and the kids off at a park in town, while I went to a laundromat to do laundry.  I left during the various wash and dry cycles to procure various provisions like milk and eggs.  Amy and the bunch ate at a local brew but but ordered me a bangers and mash calzone to-go.  It was delicious.
The Corps of Discovery and its respective crew of 6 cousins were camped nearby at Mesa Verde NP.  They happened to be in town for resupply as well.  The decision was made to link up at a local park. I met them all there.  11 children running and playing was fun to watch.  I enjoyed watching the kids trade stories and tall tales of their journeys and life since the last time they met up.  They all played until dusk and we then headed back to our respective campsites.
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July.  More hiking, and a parade and festival in the PM.  The kids have proven hard to get to bed as they are still excited.

Day 5

We spent the morning packing up everything and cleaning to trailer in preparation to push off.   It would be a long day of slow going, as most of the driving was mountain passes.  We turned course South and headed over the high desert to the mountains.  We drove over the Rio Grande gorge and some sort of artist community in which the desert adobe homes seemed to be painted an eclectic mix of colors and adorned with mirrors and trinkets.  We then slowly wound our way over the mountains.  The steep grades often limited our progress to 35mph or slower, while I again coaxed the ship as she struggled.
We decided to stop for lunch at a pullout high in the mountains for lunch.  Cabin fever had set in and the children had begun fighting and hitting.  The usual sort of thing that happens on such road trips.  As Amy and I ate, I sent the children to explore the surrounding area. Deep in some underbrush, they found an old welded bench with a mans name on it and a sort of shrine to him.  I suspect the deceased had his ashes spread at this spot.  The children had fun creating theories on what may have happened to him and why.
We continued on at a snails pace and turned North into Colorado.   We headed into the town of Pagosa Springs for a stop at a bakery for some treats and a resupply stop at the local Wal Mart for various dry goods.  Then West to Durango and our usual camping spot on the lake North of town.  The campground host was not very friendly.  We set up and cooked chicken tacos in the pressure cooker.  The children begged to fish after supper so we took them down to the lake where we tried our luck.  Nothing.  Tangled lines to show for our troubles.  We lit a quick campfire so the kids could roast marshmallows and then to bed.  Tomorrow is another day of hiking.